a stranger in a strange land. un inconnu dans un pays méconnu: janvier 2005

berski-skian untuk skian kalinya

Who the hell created skiing? I’d kill him if I can find him. Everything that could go wrong went wrong today. Maybe I’m exaggerating stuff, but still… We had our breakfast, went to the ski shop so that the others could get their skiing stuff, then we headed to the skiing station and got there at 9.15. We were divided into 2 groups, mine has 10 people in it. I was in the same group as Awad, Irfan, Eddy, Hadi, Mucang, Syaza, Ann, Zhi Hui and Ali. The first lesson was – How to walk with your ski. And it took us about 10 minutes to walk like 20 meters. Then the next one was how to ski and how to brake. I had no problem with how to ski or how to glide with your ski thingy, but when it comes to braking, ehem, I still couldn’t do it even at the end of the lesson.

After a few ups-and-downs of that 20 meters- 5 degrees slope, we took the tirefesse (pull-ass). It’s some sort of a lift but instead of a seat, you have a bar, with a small disk at the end, and you put your ass on the disk and it pulls your ass up the slope. This time, it’s more than 100 meters, with a almost 35 degrees slope. The tirefesse was on this side of the slope, and we had to go to the other side, so we had to walk across the slope, while risking our lives, since we could fall down and roll into a snowball at any time. Finally when we got to the other side, we had to slide down. Ehem, I was sliding fine, very fine indeed that I couldn’t stop. When I reached the end, I knew I needed to stop, but I just can’t. So I fell myself on the ground, with my front down. For once I thought, did I just tore an organ or something. And the thing is, the instructor didn’t even help us when we fall. He just said ‘get up, get up’. And I was like ‘yes I know, you don’t think I enjoy being down here do you? Why don’t you just shut up and give me a hand’. But of course I didn’t say that. But really, every time I ski, he would say ‘open up, open up, bend your knees’ (to slow you down). I was like ‘ I know, I know, easy for you to say, how can I open up, when I’m skiing at 75km/h? How can I not panic?’. And of course I didn’t say that either.

At noon, the class stopped. Aihh, thank god! One day gone, 5 more to go. Aihh, I’m going to be as thin as a matchstick by the end of this trip, if I don’t die. Everyone was exhausted.

Had lunch at noon, first we had a salad with hardboiled eggs and mayonnaise. I ate only the egg and the mayonnaise, because they put too much vinegar in my salad, that it stung my nose. Then we had rice and fish. Same as last night’s dinner, but with different kind of rice and different kind of fish. Why did I even bother to write that sentence? Aihh. I couldn’t finish it either, so I gave my plate to someone else, and I ate the bread rolls. I was getting tired of bread rolls, and I saw a packet of mustard. I thought, if I could eat hot dog buns with mustard (because I ate the hot dog first) in Malaysia, why not here? And so I did. I don’t know how to describe it but, don’t try it at home. Arrrghhh. I’ll never eat French mustard ever again. It was too acidic, that it burnt my tongue, and my nose, whoa. It’s like drinking coke with your nose.
Played snow with Brian and Toh after lunch. We made a snowman. A mini one. A prototype. Toh and I was competing who could create the roundest snowman’s head. Then we threw snowballs to Dinie’s window. They were planning to ski on their own after that. No thank you, I’ve had enough for one day.

I'm still amazed by the snow. hehe.

I like this song by Jaques Brel, Ne me quitte pas ~ Don't go away

Ramlah Ram

I woke up confused today. 'Kelas start pukul 8 ke 9? Kene bangun pukul 6 ke 7?' waaargh. Very confusinglah having a class at 8.30.

What would you say if you're given 2 weeks off, and you decided to follow a class,volutarily, and then the person who gave you the 2 weeks off heard about this, so he makes you go to your normal classes since you're not having your holidays anyways. Aaaargh. It's just not fair. We'll have 2 weeks off after the ski trip, and we decided to have our french classes so that we could have our summer holidays. Now that Mr. B ( B could be anyone here, it's ambiguous) heard that we're going to have some classes, he decided that we should also come to our Pre-U classes.

So many things to do before going to ski. Laundry, Strasbourg, Super-U. Aihhh. Baju ski belum beli lagi pulak tu. Ahad dah nak pegi. Nak pegi beli besok kat Strasbourg, ketapi mogok pulak. isk-isk.

budok-baik posted this song today in the shoutbox. It's the song i always sing whenever i 'kena kacau' by them (yon, ridhuan ali, bad, saher) . By the end of the year all 4 have memorized this song. It's by Ramlah Ram. Before this, i always thought that it's a song to be sung to my 2 brothers so that they would come back home for a while. But now, the song's on me!

Ibu... aku telah dimiliki
Jauh... kutinggalkan desa ini
Pusaramu kusiram, Kurasakan aku direstui
Apa yang kau berikan, Aku kini rasa disayangi

Pulang abang, pulang saudaraku,
Masih hijau di desamu ini,
Bayu masih seperti dahulu,
Hujan masih dihias pelangi

Saudaraku, dengar nyanyianku,
Kalau boleh kau ulang selalu

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

After waiting for almost 2 months, the day finally came today. It snowed. It snowed heavily. This morning i went to LeClerc to look for my skiing pants (but alas, they don't have any), i couldn't stand the cold wind, that i took the bus. It was a waste of 70 cents, but at least i was comfortably seating in the warmth of the bus' radiator. And it snowed very heavily during Voltolini's class that we were not concentrating at all.

At around 8.30, we went outside and took some pictures. And then the war began. Snowballs were flying everywhere. I was not wearing any gloves, so my snowballs were small. But then again, it's better than ustat. When everyone else's throwing snowballs, he was throwing snowflakes. Dinie was, of course, the common target for everyone, followed by Taufiq and Khairul. Taufiq had finally realized his dreams of taking a picture in the snow wearing his kain pelikat. We stopped at 9.30, because there was no more snow left to throw. And also because, we still have Lang's homework to be done.

Thanks to us, the car owners didn't have to wipe the snow off their cars

This picture was taken moments before i was hit by a snowball

This is what i see on a snowy day.

On a normal day, this is what i see when i poke my head out of my window

To ski or not to ski

Since the beginning, i disagreed with the idea of going for a ski trip. But bit by bit, i gave in. But now thing's changed. When martine asked us with who are we sharing our room, i was the only one left without any partner. Since our group has an uneven number of people, i 'volunteered' myself to have the one person room. Everyone else has a partner except me. I was like a bomb waiting to explode when we were in Martine's office, but i decided to calm myself down. But hey, what's the big deal? At least now i get to have 2 beds to myself, the whole toilet to myself, in short the whole room to myself. How wonderful!. (in case you haven't notice, i was being sarcastic).

And now another problem appeared. In Inter-Sport, the cheapest skiing pants is 90 euros. In Cora, the skiing pants is at 40 euros. Martine told us that we have to buy our own skiing clothes, which, she warned us, is expensive. Fine. The thing is. everyone else has their CAF money, and i don't. Fadhil and Irfan don't have it either, but at least they know that theirs are already on its way to their bank accounts. So, they could use their CAF money, which is 100+ euros to buy their skiing clothes. So yesterday, most of us went to Cora to buy the clothes. All i need is a skiing pants, but unfortunately, they do not have it in my size. The largest they have is a size smaller than me. Which means i have to buy the bloody 90 euros pants from InterSport. So they, who have the money, bought their pants with 40 euros, and i, who don't have the money, must buy something at the price of 90 euros. Life's always fair, isn't it?

So to ski or not to ski. That is the question. Worse comes to worse, i'll ask martine if it's possible that i don't go for the ski classes, but just hang around doing nothing.

Did this online quiz. They say that i think like a 25 year old. Really? more like a 5 year old to me.

You Are 25 Years Old

25

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

An empty mailbox, is a good mailbox (no bills)

My letter box's empty today. The postal service is on strike. The employees of La Poste had decided to go on strike since La Poste ( the postal service and a bank), wanted to reduce it's current number of workers to be able to compete with the other courrier services (ie DHL, UPS, FedEx). I don't see the relation in that, but the people was assured that the postal service will continue as usual tomorrow. But then again, tomorrow, the SNCF employees will go on strike. They've announced it on TV yesterday. I mean, isn't it weird? They wanted to go on strike, and yet they announced it to everyone. So tomorrow there'll be no trains. Almost no trains. That's the beauty of the strikes in France. Like the SNCF's (the train service) strike tomorrow. They announced it to everyone on tele, they'll go on strike, but yet, they'll still have some service go on as usual. Tomorrow, 2 out 3 TGV services would be on strike, 3 out of 4 TER services, and all RER too. And they've also decided not to disturb the Eurostar and Thalys services. I mean, where else can you see a proper-managed-well planned strike to voice out their demands but at the same time, thinks of what might happen to the public if they stop giving-out their service for one day? Only in France i tell you.

Today, Chirac, Schroeder, Blair and the spanish PM got together in Toulouse to 'merasmikan' the new Airbus A380. It carries 550-800 passengers, with the height of an 8 storey building, a length that is equal to the width of a football field, it's the largest civil aircraft on earth. It's the new European pride. But i don't see the need of it. It's more dangerous than a 747 in my opinion. Say, one day it crashes (let's hope it won't), 550 to 800 people would die, compared to a crash of a 747, only 400 would die. When people say it's to overcome the problem of the increasing air traffic, wouldn't it be better to have a normal sized plane, but at a faster speed? If you can transport 800 people from London to Paris in an hour, and another 800 back to London in another hour, why not take 400 people in 30 minutes, another 400 back to London, another 400 to Paris and again another 400 to London? It's still the same. 1600 people, in 2 hours. Of course there's the ground procedures and technical problems, but you risk less lives. Like trains, they don't compete to build bigger or longer trains, but to build faster trains. Not bigger cars (like 5 seats in a row), but faster cars. We'll see what'll happen when he made his maiden flight this spring. I just pray that it won't be another Titanic. (I'm not being a pessimist, but a realist)

The virus alert ended on 15 january, but some of us are still sick. Most still have sore-throats, but Irfan and Dinie are still having the fever. And according to Sylviane, the symptoms that Irfan has might mean that he has a sinus problem. If he doesn't act quickly, he'll need to undergo an operation. I hope everyone will get well before the ski trip. Arrrgh... ski trip. I still need to buy a google and a water-proof pants. It'll cost me a fortune. 150 euros the least. And i think it'll be as catastrophic as my ice-skating. Me and ice? We never get along well.

Can you guess what song is this? It's a famous song. Almost everyone in Malaysia knows this song. I guess.

athkatre btama lesatikaj arnakia
nrukna hutia gahabta mha rath
katreb tamales atika jarnakain
rukn ahut aigahab tamharuja
mnadut asrebpu dihta ykarukhar
aday nhap muthana tukaragen

I pity you if you do not know this song.

La Casa y Fabrica Bracho

I'm very happy today. I managed to find the file that i've been wanting to download. The montage of 'La Usurpadora'. Heheh. I have to say that it's the best telenovela ever (Well, since it's the only telenovela that i actually followed). When i saw the montage and the characters in it, i had a flashback of myself when i was in form 3. And especially Puan Hamidah (my BM teacher), the person who made me watch it. And i still remember how she would give some work to be done to the class, and we would discuss yesterday's episode (she, me and 2 more guys). Oh God! i missed that. Paola, Paulina, Carlos Daniel, Abuela Piedad, Fidelina... and many others.

Un día llegaré con un disfraz
Distinto el color, la misma faz
Te desarmaré ni cuenta te darás
Para entregarte el corazón
Despacio te iré amando más
Y te cuidaré en el bien y el mal
El cielo te daré
Tu abrigo yo seré
A ti me entregaré
La Usurpadora esperando por tu amor
La Usurpadora, me haces daño corazón
Descubreme, recuerdame
La Usurpadora, yo...

Yesterday i watched a TV show about happenings in the EU nations this week. And there was this issue in Greece that was quite shocking. At least for me. In Greece, the women have been following the tradition of staying virgin until the day they got married. And now, there's this woman association that launched a campaign to stop all that and to promote pre-marital sex. I mean... what the heck? Why must you change something that is already good? Aihh... we're getting really close to the end of the world.
Antara tanda datangnya kiamat ialah apabila, kekayaan melimpah-ruah, penyanyi menjadi pujaan, zina dan arak menjadi kebiasaan.

I'm really angry with the French government. First, because i'm not yet 18 i'm not allowed to have the 'title of residency', which means i could not get out of France. Now, since i don't have this title thingy, i'm not entitled to the 'students' residencial subsidy'. Everybody in my group gets this subsidy except for me. And the thing is, they're entitled to this subsidy from the day that their title of residency was published. Which means, in January, the would be subsidized from November to January, and that brings to the sum of around 400 euros. So right now, i'm the poorest. Which means, when they're happily browsing through stuff that they wanted to buy ie. MP3 Players, clothes etc., the only thing to do is watching them browsing jealously. And this also means that, i won't be subsidized from November to August this year. Which means, i have to stay to a tight budget of 700 per month when everyone else is enjoying 830 (some 860) per month. This is just unfair. I can't go anywhere, and i can't have my money, just because i'm not 18 yet? This IS what i call discrimination.

An expired grape juice is called wine. An expired wine is called a wine vinegar. So what do you call an expire wine vinegar?

Who found that milk and eggs are edible? And what made him think that they're edible?

Kala kula kelas kalih kula kilang-kileng wetan kali kelangan kalung kula kaliyan kula keloloden kolang kaling kalih. ~ a javanese tongue twister, found on the web
When I was in the second year, I looked over at the east side of the river because I lost my necklace while I was also choked by two kolang-kaling

Menganyam Ketupat

Last night, terubat rindu nak tengok drama melayu. Me, Irfan and Dinie watched Aleeya Maisarah in Dinie's room. We watched it from the TV3's website. It's the kind of drama that you can get every friday nights at 9 pm on TV3.

After watching it, i made a kesimpulan. Take 2 mak cik, who know each other well, and who share a same group of friends, put them together, while doing something (lipat kain, angkat kain, bagi makan ayam etc), there's a 90% probability that they'll start to mengumpat. Ok you don't have to have 2 mak cik. 2 young ladies would do as well. But then again, what's more worrying is that, it's catching up fast among the guys as well. And i tell you, when guys do it, it's worse. Believe me, I know.

But i tell you, when you sit together with someone, it's very hard not to mengumpat. Ie.

A: Isk, bengang betullah ngan --- tu. Suka hati je buat macam tu it's starting
B: Ala rilek la, dier memang macam tu trying to avoid umpating
A: Tapikan, dier tu aku tak tahan la ada ke patut buat macam tu trying again
B: Ala... aku pun kena gak dulu dier buat --- kat aku dulu aku tak kisah pun trying not to umpat, but couldn't help it
A: Ye ke? teruk betul la... ada ke... abis, kau buat macam mana? And it goes on and on

The thing is, it's an international thing. Even the french do mengumpat. This morning, there were a group of 7 mak ciks near the coffee machine, talking bad about someone. And you should look at their faces. Dead Serious. Apatah lagi with our profs. We umpat with them, and they umpat among them. I mean... it's just unstoppable. And it's fun!

Ok i know. Tak baik mengumpat!

Aie aie aie

Bad News! We might not be going back to Malaysia this summer. Sylvie Lerond sent an email to Martine saying that we have to stay here (Colmar) until 31 August 2005. The problem is, we have made a deal with our professors that we'll be sacrificing our April and February's holidays and work during the holidays, to have a summer break so that we could go back. Now, should we continue our deal and still not sure wethere we'll be able to go back, or, not continuing our deal, have our 2 breaks and for sure, we won't be able to go back this summer?

More Bad News! For the next 2 weeks, we'll be having 4 more extra hours of maths. And from next 2 weeks onwards, we'll have a total of 12.5 hours of maths per week, which, means 8.5 hours of maths on Fridays. 8-12.30, 2.45-6.45. Aie aie aie.

Still More Bad News! If we are to continue our deal, we would be doing our french classes for 8 hours a day ie. 8-12, 1-5 Mondays-Fridays. Meaning we wouldn't be able to go to Sembahyang Jumaat. When we asked, the answer was 'Your God is a kind God. He wouldn't punish you for something that you're forced to do. Furthermore, how would you expect to adapt to university's life? I assure you that you won't have time for the prayers'. I mean, i don't blame the person who gave this answer. She doesn't understand, and i knew that she received a lot of pressures from both sides. Ours and Theirs. The only thing to do now is to talk to the director. But I won't put my hopes too high since she's notorious for being not very ~ ngam ~ dalam bab-bab agama ni.

France is a secular country. Nothing is related to religion. Even marriages. Your marriage in a church, a mousque, a temple or synagogue is not recognise. You have to get married in the town hall. A civil marriage that is. And you can even choose not to get married. You have 3 choices. Marriage, Concubinage, and PACS. When you get married you have the responsibilities for your partner, and you're allowed to have children. In concubinage, you live with your partner, without any responsibilities, but you get the same benefits like a married person ie. taking a leaf when he/she's sick. and PACS is something in between the 2. So, how does the French choose? Well... if they want to get married, they'll get married. But a lot of them choose not to get married but to live together with their partner. So between Concubinage and PACS... well, you pay less tax with PACS, but you have less responsibilities with Concubinage. In the end, it's the choice between responsibilities and money.

~wah~ macam mana ni? orang yang tak sepatutnya baca blog ni, membaca blog ni! malunya saya!!! isk isk. Tanak balik malaysialah macam ni.

I like Celine Dion's voice. I just love it.

If i can ask Santa Clause a gift for this year, i want 2+2 stays equal to 4.

Il y a des gens qui m'aiment?

I couldn't update my blog for a few days 'cause i was sick. I had a terrible fever, but luckily it lasted only one night. But i still have the sore-throat, and i've been spending my weekend coughing here and there.

Today we had informatiques in the morning. It felt like the old schooldays. Saturday morning prep or ages before that co-curricular activities. Ok, i'm not going to comment anything on this class, i'm just gonna keep quiet.

Went to Tuna Market again today with ustat and dinie. We bought some beef for tonight's dinner. It was then that ustat told me he has 'Buli' and 'Puteri Gunung Ledang' in his comp. Punyalah susah aku mencari, rupa-rupanya mamat ni ada. So when we got back, i borrowed the 2 Cds from him and i watched Buli alone in my room while eating a kebab.

Now, when i asked people 'how was 'Buli'? is it nice?'. Most people would say.... no... make that everyone would say it's funny. Full of stupid jokes here and there and more jokes if you concentrate on the background. But i would say, it was the best malay movie ever. And i never thought that a malay movie could be as good. I mean, when you have Sembilu, Maria Mariana, or Iskandar...... it makes you wanna vomit just hearing the names. And even Senario's movies are not that enjoyable since it's illogical eventhough it's funny.

Now, if anyone asks me about my life, i would say 'go watch buli, and you'll understand'. Almost everything in that movie that happened to the main character happened to me. Minus the software-creating and the psycho hospital parts. When Dr Ika said ' He suffers from inferiority, and he lacks of self-esteem' i nodded my head. When the main character took a knife and went to the toilet, i nodded again. it was exactly how i felt almost everyday. But when he said ' i'm me because i chose to be me' and 'my reactions to things are my own choice', it came to me that what he said was right. I am who i chose to be. I was the one who chose to be like this. And how I react to things are also my own choice. So now, I choose to change. I choose to choose wisely. I choose to renew my new year's resolutions. It's not too late is it? So like this morning, instead of having a full bowl of milk and cereal, i chose to have a cup of chocolate drink. Less calories. And i chose not to stay in bed just because i don't feel well, but to get up and do things energetically. Heheh.

No. Really. I wanna change. So listen up world. I wanna grow up. According to my brother, 4 things that make someone really a grown-up person
1. Eat whatever people serve you when you go to anyone's house. Hard. But i'll try
2. Don't sleep during classes,lectures,talks and speeches. Used to be a problem. Not anymore!
3. Merajuk dengan member sebab terasa. This is the hardest. Very hard for me. But i'll give my best shot.
4. This final criterea is yet to come....

Ok so i take back anything i said before to anyone. Even the stupid message. ok? And who said 'filem melayu melemahkan minda?'

I think this has got to be one of the best if not the best testi in friendster that i've ever got. By tikah.
kimi comeyll tau..kalo kite potong kepale dgn kaki die..sebijik mcm beger besau..tak cayer try la kwn2...kimi mmg pndai dan bergeliga otaknye..nak tau resepi kejayaannye??die belaja smbil tido..kimi akn mule pejamkan mate apbl cikgu mulekn pengajaran..ini adalah utk lebih memahami dan merasai ape yg cikgu cube smpaikan..dlm mase 5 hgga 8 menet slpas die pejamkan mate...dia akan mule menangguk tanda faham dan setuju dgn ape yg cikgu terangkan..stlh mengangguk dgn kadar purata 13 kali setiap kali tidur..kimi akan terus tunduk utk menunjukkn rasa hormat dan terima kasih kpd cikgu tersebut..akhir sekali bile cikgu panggil name die.."kimi..." mate die akn terbuka secara otomatiknye dan pd mase yg same tangannye akan menyalin ape diajar..inila cara kimi belaja...2 tahun aku dgn lela sntiasa perhatikn gerak geri ko dlm kelas dan kuliah....sekarang aku dh tau!!!rupenye ko belaja ketika tidur..jawab exam pun sambil tido..dahsat tuuuu.....ko mmg hebatt!!!

I don't know why, but since a few days ago, i always dream of me arriving in KLIA, in the arrival hall, with my little brother running towards me, and i would hug him tightly, compared our heights and i would carry him on my shoulders.... and the dream ends there and fades away... And now, before i go to sleep, i would lie on my bed, facing the ceiling, trying to evaluate whatever i did that day, and smile, and say my dad's favourite question ' Kimi, kimi, bilalah nak jadi orang?'

Jour 2

Started chemistry today. Got a very pretty teacher, and surprisingly, i'm not as stressed as i was when i learnt chimie in high school. It's much easier to memorise the symbols of the elements since, they have the same name in french like argent for argentum (silver), or for aurum (gold), fer for ferum (iron) so on and so forth. But then again they do have some weird differences like azote for nitrogen.And luckily we started with hidrocarbon, since it was my favourite chapter. Imagine if we started with Acid and Base..... catastrophe!

Jour 2:
Toujours pas de reponse. Les choses me semblent un peu mieux avec encore 2, donc ca fait 6 de 9. Et je crois qu'il y a un d'eux qui visite mon blog. Mais... quand-meme.....

petite maison = maisonnette
petite statue = statuette
patite bague = baguette?

Jour 1

How would you feel if you're in my shoes. In your maths class, your professor is someone who does the workings quickly, and sometimes too quick that he makes some mistakes. No harm there. You notice that he made a mistake, but you don't give a damn about it either because it's an obvious mistake, or you're not sure that may be he intended to do it. So you let it go. Then someone, tells him his mistakes and then he replies ' why is it only him who notice my mistakes?'. It's not that i would like to have the credit or something, it's just that i find it inappropriate. Because to me, after he said that, i feel as if he's trying to say ' you guys are so stupid not to notice my mistakes, except for him' and it somehow demotivates me. Right after he said that i would keep myself quiet and continue taking notes. And even worse, sometimes he might repeat the sentence 3 or 4 times in 1 class, depending on how many mistake he made. And worse still, when anyone else corrects him, he'd only say 'Ah, yes'. It's not that i don't want that particular person to answer, nor i want him to say 'his sentence' to everyone who corrects him, but i just want him to stop using that ridiculus sentence.

Tomorrow we're starting chemistry, and we'll be having informatics on saturdays. How does the IUT expect us to finish our homeworks if we continue like this? OK. so far no homework for mechanics, tuesday's maths ; a lot!, chemistry still unknown, electricity so far somehow a lot, informatics, so far only 1 homework, Friday's maths only a few, but the notes... the notes are terrible i'm telling you, you'd be lost if you don't reread it. And there's also the french homeworks..... so that brings to none+a lot+unknown+a lot+ 1 + a few + some = somewhat a lot.

JOUR 1 : Pas de reponse. Ni officielle, ni inofficielle. Mais les choses me semblent mieux avec 4 de 9. c'est pas mal quand meme! mais je ne crois pas que ce soit a cause de mon message que les choses vont mieux. Ca, c'est de la vrai amitie! Je vais compter jusqu'a 10 jours ou jusqu'ils repondent, celui qui est plus pret.

no title

i don't think that anyone here in Colmar do visit my blog. And i have something to say. So i'll write the message in french so that only they know the message. If there's a response, then at least i know that they do visit the blog, if not, not only it proves that they do not, but also the message would be left unanswered.

Chers amis,

D'abord une tres bonne annee a tous. J'espere que cette annee va vous porter que du bonheur et beaucoup de succes.

Vous savez que j'etais deprime quand on est venu de commencer l'IUT. Je vous remercie beaucoup d'etre la quand j'avais besoin de vous. Vous m'avez aide et grace a vous, je me suis senti beaucoup mieux. Mais le bonheur n'a pas rester pour longtemps que j'ai eu un autre quelque mois apres. Mais cette fois-la, les choses sont pires. Je me suis eloigne de vous trop long et je peux comprendre si quelques uns de vous me voient comme je suis quelqu'un qui est fragile ou meme peut-etre fou. Je comprends que c'etait dur pour vous de m'accepter, mais c'etait pire pour moi d'accepter moi-meme. Mais a la fin, je suis sorti de cette situation-la, et c'etait grace a vous. Mais les choses entre nous ne sont plus comme avant. Au moins, c'est ce que je me sens.

Quand on marche ensemble dans un group, tout le monde bavarde. Oui, je participe aussi aux conversations, mais peu a peu, les conversations vont plus loin de moi, et a la fin, il semble que je marche tout seul. Meme aujourd'hui par exemple, quand on etait en route pour Super U, personne n'a parle avec moi, et vous marchiez de plus en plus vite, et vous m'avez laisse derriere, comme je n'etais pas la.

C'est a cause de ca que je me suis ferme dans ma chambre pendant les vacances de Noel. Au debut, j'ai essaye de faire les choses ensemble avec ceux qui restent a Colmar. Je vous ai invite de sortir avec moi, a Fribourg, a Strasbourg ou meme a Selestat!. Je peux comprendre quand vous dites vous n'aviez pas d'argent mais je ne peux jamais comprendre, pourquoi vous ne m'avez pas dit que quelqu'un est alle a Fribourg? Pourquoi je vous ai invite de regarder des DVDs avec moi, et je vous ai offert d'utilise mon argent, et vous m'avez refuse?Pourquoi quand je vous propose de faire quelque chose, vous m'avez dit 'malaslah' 'je voudrais etre seul ce soir' 'ntah tengoklah' mais quand vous, vous faites quelque chose vous m'avez pas invite?

Au debut des vacances, je me disais que c'est le temps pour ameliorer les choses qui ne vont pas. Et j'ai cru que j'avais tort. Donc, j'ai decide de me fermer dans ma chambre, et j'ai cru que je peux vivre tout seul. A la fin des vacances, j'en suis sur. Mais je sais que je me mens. Vous m'avez aide quand j'avais besoin d'aide, et vous etiez la quand j'avais besoin de vous. Pourquoi maintenant les choses ont change? Est-ce que c'est a cause de moi? Si oui, qu'est-ce que j'ai fait? Qu'est-ce que je dois faire pour regagner votre amitie? S'il vous plait, repondez a ces questions. Je sais que j'ai beaucoup change depuis le premier jour qu'on se connait. Mais le bonheur qu'on avait avant me manque. Je vous en prie. Je vous en prie. Je vous en prie.