a stranger in a strange land. un inconnu dans un pays méconnu
scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
jeudi, octobre 18
I thee divorce
If the Malaysian PM remarried a few moths ago, today, the French President just divorced his wife while in office. And they say you live long enough to see them all.
I just realised that in my class Mr I-have-an-opinion-for-everything is also Mr I-am-confused-and-I-ask-questions-to-make-everyone-else-confuse-as-well. Oh and there's Mr I-think-I-am-hot-therefore-I-believe-everything-I-do-is-adorable.
I hate them both.
I need a holiday. I need to be able to afford the luxury of lying on my bed looking at the ceiling while entertaining every thought that comes to mind. I want to wake up because I want to wake up and not because of my alarm clock. Aihh.
Ayah dan ibu Itulah permulaan kami Dapatlah melihat bulan dan Matahari Ahai...
Yang dikurniakan dari Ilahi Ahai... Ayah dan ibu lah Mesti dihormati
Ayah dan ibu Wali dan juga keramat Pada mereka kita beri hormat Ahai... Bagilah tunjuk ajar dan Nasihat Supaya hidup Supaya hidup kita akan selamat Ayah dan Ibu - Sudirman The thing that I miss most about Raya is the ever so meaningful ritual that we do in the morning just after coming back from the mosque. It's the moment where you kneel before your parents, hold their hands, with your head bowed, asking for forgiveness. At the simple utterance of those words, everything you've done that might have hurt your parents flashes through your mind, and you know that those are only the ones that you're aware of whereas there might be much more that you've never realised, that your parents just kept them inside. I miss that a lot and it has been 4 years I have not been able to do it. I know I have loads on my back that I need to get off, but doing it on the phone is just not the same. I miss my mom's hand caressing my head, and her kiss on my forehead at the end.
It's the moment where even the most masculine of men is forgiven to shed his tears.
Anyways,
Saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua. Maaf Zahir dan Batin dari hujung rambut sampai ke hujung kaki serta halalkan makan dan minum. Jangan lupa mereka yang berada jauh di perantauan ketika mengunyah kerepek dan biskut serta meneguk air sirap mahupun oren sunkist.
Kepada rakan-rakan seperjuangan di perantauan: Tak balik kampung ke tahun ni?
I just can't believe that Raya is around the corner. Seriously, if it hasn't been for all the Raya shout outs in Friendster and YM or MSN statuses, I'm quite sure I would've missed it.
This year, I'm celebrating it in Lille with the others and some friends from Grenoble. A 'Kunjungan Balas' I might say since last year we had a wonderful celebration in Grenoble. Though I have to say ours won't be as grandiose as theirs was. Unfortunately, I have 2 classes on Saturday morning so I think I'll be ditching one for the sake of Raya.
This will be my 4th Raya away from home and I certainly hope that it will be the last. It's just not the same. Yes, you can have all the ketupats, rendangs, kuah kacang you want, but the hype is just not the same. I miss the Raya-shopping madness, helping out in the kitchen making cookies (and helping myself up with the leftovers), filling duit raya envelopes, finishing up cookies served for the guests even before the first ones arrive, and finally of course the duit raya hunt (yes I know I'm getting quite old for that).
I don't know why but this year I long to celebrate Raya at home. I really, really miss home. I don't know why. I mean it has only been a month since I came back to France, and my parents are coming to visit me soon, but somehow I want to go home. Is this how homesick feels? If it is, then it's both good news and bad news. The good news is had I felt it when I first came, it would've been much more difficult for me to adapt and to settle down, and who knows how it would've affected me. The bad news is, it shows how heartless I am for taking more than 3 years to finally actually miss home. So if this is homesick, then, I shall admit it without shame that I am homesick. Maybe the ride is just not fun anymore.
Pulang abang, pulang saudaraku, Masih hijau di desamu ini, Bayu masih seperti dahulu, Hujan masih dihias pelangi Zapin yang hilang - Ramlah Ram
It has been a month since I entered the Catholic University. It's a surprise how I've managed to go through that period and yet still keeping my sanity (well, at least I think I am).
They say à la fac (short for faculté, might sound offensive to English-speakers) I would only have at most 30 hours of classes per week, but now I'm currently at 45 (Saturdays included). They say lectures are given to an audience of 300 students at a time, but mine is only 38. They say lecturers wouldn't even bother to make sure if you're absent, but I have to sign my attendance for every class. And they say that à la fac you work on your own, but I'm facing tonnes and tonnes of homework and assignments.
Usually, I see myself as an above average student if not average, but certainly not an excellent one. The fact that I've been in the IUT for two years, surrounded by average and below average students (and some excellent ones of course), somewhat made me forget that. Now that I'm in la Catho it really hurts to actually accept the reality that there are a lot of excellent students out there. In a nutshell, I've realised now that not all French are stupid.
The first two weeks was for revision. I was scandalised (yes, to that extent) to see that everyone recalled everything from the previous two years. Heck, I couldn't even remember what are the account numbers for VAT. I was equally shocked to see the amount of concentration given during a class. In IUT we hid (apart from me of course, we means the students generally speaking) other students bags and pencil cases, or poked someone just to annoy him or her, or did crossword puzzles while the lecturers talked.
Although I see most of them as spoilt brats, I do admire some of them. There's a girl who works very hard, is excellent in most subjects, and actually managed to complete the crossword puzzles in 20 minutes (a free daily newspaper) almost everyday. There's a guy whom I know would make a great Expert-Comptable (chartered accountant), but he annoys the lecturers a lot since he likes to talk in class. Another guy is so knowledgeable in anything that has to do with finance and law, and he likes to ask brilliant questions. These are the people who made me realise that I should be learning not for the sake of passing the exams, but for the fact that I want to be an accountant, a chartered one for that matter.
Of course there are a few jerks in my class as well. There's Mr I-have-an-opinion-for-everything who also happens to be Mr I-ask-questions-just-to-show-how-much-I-know. Of course theres the Interrupter* who also happens to be Mr Buttsucker. And finally there's Mr I-always-have-funny-comments-to-say-under-my-breath-about-everything who may not be a jerk, but could be a pain in the ass sometimes, and somehow I always end up sitting a row in front of him so I could actually hear what he says.
And I'm - the weird-looking-quiet-Asian guy.
If previously I can't wait for 30/6/2008, now I'm dying to get to that date.
